All Sunny Days Don't Last - A Self Help online resource
default.html
../general/about.htm
../general/calendar.htm
../general/contact.htm
../general/faq.htm
../general/fun_stuff.htm
../general/news.htm
../Topics/topics.htm
../Topics/debts.htm
../Topics/work.htm
../Topics/health.htm
../subtopics/bailiff.htm
../subtopics/council_tax.htm
../subtopics/feeling_low.htm
../subtopics/IBS.htm
../subtopics/redundancy.htm
new_item.asp
search.htm
keywords="SDDL, Free, Anonymus, Self, Help, online, Resource, topics, Debts, Health, Work, bailiffs, council tax, feeling low, depression, IBS, redundancy, sleep, search, disucssions"
About SDDL
I started this site from an idea. I was reading an article on the web and noticed how difficult this person had found it to get help on a health issue. So on this site we aim to help reduce the amount of time spent looking for that needle in the haystack. Not just on health but for all the issues that we can face in our lives.
It started small. Just two topics and some research on the web. That was in December 2008. Now I have a design and the system to hold all the potential data that may be sent through and so the web site is launched.
January 31st 2009 the first proper pages go out to the internet, and we wait.
Just a matter of seeing where we end up.
default.html
All Sunny Days Dont Last - A Self Help online resource There is an old saying "Into Every life some rain must fall", and it is unfortunately true, but where do you turn when it happens?
Often it is harder to ask for help than to try and find the answer for yourself. For example, I started reading about IBS and read many web pages I found. One was written by someone who had spent years researching the problem. They accumulated a lot of medical and other information and gathered extensive research data. This, in the end, led to the assistance of a professional who was able to help. This accumulated knowledge has been turned it into a book. I have no idea if this will work for anyone and did not buy the book. Their cure was not my direct interest. It was the lengths to which they had to go before they found the help they needed, and how much Luck was involved.
On this site we aim to help reduce the amount of time spent looking for that needle in the haystack. We do not intend to provide cures and we do not make or support any claims of cures. We are not medical professionals nor are we in anyway qualified to make judgments on claimed results. If someone says it worked for them, then we will believe that, but we will not confirm it as fact or give any endorsements to say it will work for you. If you like the sound of something and wish to take it further, that is up to you as an individual.
We ask for contributions to a topic or a suggestion for a new topic and are happy to take them from anyone.
The aim of the site is to help and assist those of us who are dealing with the problems life throws at us, and we all have found some way or another to deal with something in our lives. It is that knowledge this site wishes to tap into.
We are not asking anyone to tell there whole life story or name names, just pass on things that you think may be useful to someone else in what could be a similar situation. Just as you may do when someone you know turns to you for advice.
This is not for self gain. It is an attempt to provide a free, no fee, no sales pitch, self help advice resource. Anyone can read an article on the topic they choose with no cookies being sent and no tracking at all of what they read. It is therefore a totally anonymous way to find help when you need it without the embarrassment of having to talk to someone face to face first.
It is hoped that it will provide a guide to anyone who needs or feel they need help dealing with something in their life. It may also reduce the amount of time spent trying things or ideas that are not right for them as individuals.
We are not seeking to be guru's, we will never have all the answers, but the experience of others may help narrow the search for the answer to someone's problems. So be part of it, and bring a little Sun back into someone else's day, it may even put a smile on your face for a while too!
If you wish to add to the body of accumulated information on any item, please note the following. All contributions will be vetted, and may be edited in relation to our standards, no selling, no slander and no promises to be made. Any contribution, that passes, will be included along with recognition of the contributor, i.e. the name you give will be included at the bottom of your contribution.
If you would like to contribute please click here. Please complete as many of the fields you feel comfortable with when sending your contribution.
Thank you John. The donations requested below are asked for just to help run the site. It is not to fund my income. Now I am sure that has been said before, but if this does go forward I intend to register this as a charity to provide this information not only online but any way that may prove worthwhile, once I have all the qualifying details in place.
If you do not believe me then do not donate. I will not hold it against you, honest. How could I? I will never know :-)
../general/about.htm
About I started this site from an idea. I was reading an article on the web and noticed how difficult this person had found it to get help on a health issue. So on this site we aim to help reduce the amount of time spent looking for that needle in the haystack. Not just on health but for all the issues that we can face in our lives. It started small. Just two topics and some research on the web. That was in December 2008. Now I have a design and the system to hold all the potential data that may be sent through and so the web site is launched.
January 31st 2009 the first proper pages go out to the internet, and we wait. Just a matter of seeing where we end up ;-) The donations requested below are asked for just to help run the site. It is not to fund my income. Now I am sure that has been said before, but if this does go forward I intend to register this as a charity to provide this information not only online but any way that may prove worthwhile, once I have all the qualifying details in place. If you do not believe me then do not donate. I will not hold it against you, honest. How could I? I will never know :-)
../general/calendar.htm
Calendar of Events Highlights. Upcoming Events.
../general/contact.htm
Contact Us Contact us.
../general/faq.htm
Frequently Asked Questions Frequently Asked Questions. None so far.
../general/fun_stuff.htm
fun stuff So far a scratch card game just for fun.
../general/news.htm
News January 31st 2009 the first proper pages go out to the internet. December 2008 The Initial Idea. The idea started from an article read on the internet.
../Topics/topics.htm
All Current Topics Here you will find the current collection of help topics we have on offer. The majority of the items you will find here have been researched by myself at the moment, but I ask anyone to contribute.
Every item that is added will help someone, even if only a little, and that can make a difference.
The aim of the site is to help and assist those of us who are dealing with the problems life throws at us, and we all have found some way or another to deal with something in our lives. It is that knowledge this site wishes to tap into.
We are not asking anyone to tell there whole life story or name names, just pass on things that you think may be useful to someone else in what could be a similar situation. Just as you may do when someone you know turns to you for advice. This is not for self gain. It is an attempt to provide a charitable, no fee, no sales pitch, self help advice resource.
Anyone can read an article on the topic they choose with no cookies being sent and no tracking at all of what they read. It is therefore a totally anonymous way to find help when you need it without the embarrassment of having to talk to someone face to face first.
It is hoped that it will provide a guide to anyone who needs or feel they need help dealing with something in their life. It may also reduce the amount of time spent trying things or ideas that are not right for them as individuals.
We are not seeking to be guru's, we will never have all the answers, but the experience of others may help narrow the search for the answer to someone's problems. So be part of it, and bring a little Sun back into someone else's day, it may even put a smile on your face for a while too!
../subtopics/bailiff.htm
Bailiff Guide - know your rights! Introduction. A visit from a bailiff can be a very frightening and distressing experience. This section explains what a bailiff can and cannot do if they visit your home and what your rights are.
What is a bailiff?
A bailiff is someone authorised to collect a debt on behalf of a creditor. A creditor is someone you owe money to. There are different types of bailiffs - e.g. county court bailiffs, certificated bailiffs and private bailiffs who can be used to collect different types of debts. These include county court judgments, unpaid council tax, magistrates court fines, unpaid maintenance to the Child Support Agency and outstanding rent.
Different bailiffs have differing powers to collect debts. However, there are certain rules that apply to all bailiffs. Unless stated otherwise, the information here applies to any bailiff.
Can anyone be a bailiff?
Yes, providing they have legal authority to carry out their actions. Some creditors prefer to use certificated bailiffs to collect their debts. ''Certificated'' means that the firm of bailiffs has provided references to the county court and the bailiffs they employ are considered to be 'fit and proper' persons. Bailiffs collecting rent arrears and road traffic penalties must be certificated. It is worth remembering that both men and women can be bailiffs!
Remember a debt collector is NOT a bailiff
some collection agencies may threaten to send someone to your home if you refuse to pay them the amounts they request. As a representative of a Debt Collection Agency, they have no powers at all. You do not need to speak to them if you do not wish to and they have none of the powers listed below.
What 'legal authority' must a bailiff have?
A bailiff must be legally authorised to collect the debt on behalf of the creditor. The authority is normally known as a 'warrant', or 'warrant of execution' if the bailiff is recovering money owed under a county court judgment.
Bailiffs used by the magistrates court to collect unpaid council tax, outstanding fines, compensation or unpaid maintenance will be acting on either a 'distress warrant' or a 'liability order' issued by the magistrates court.
If you are in arrears, creditors will sometimes send representatives to your home to try and negotiate repayments with you. These people might be called 'counsellors', 'collectors' or 'advisers'. They do not have powers to enter your home and seize your goods.
How do I know it is a bailiff at my door?
Bailiffs should provide identification or authorisation if you ask them to. Bailiffs collecting for rent must show their certificate from the county court if you ask them to. Bailiffs collecting unpaid council tax must show written authorisation from the local authority. See also 'Will I get advance notice of a bailiff visit?'
Can a bailiff call at night or on a weekend?
Only bailiffs collecting rent are obliged to call between sunrise and sunset, all other bailiffs can call at any time of day or night. However most bailiffs should call at a 'reasonable' time, either during normal office hours or between 8.00 a.m. or 8 p.m.
Can a bailiff force his/her way into my house?
Most bailiffs do not have the right to force their way into your home to seize your goods. The only exception is that bailiffs from the Collector of Taxes (Inland Revenue) can get a warrant to force entry, but this is very rare.
All other bailiffs have a right of peaceful entry only. This means that they cannot use force to enter your home, for example, by breaking a window or a door. However, they can enter your property through an open door or window (front and back) and can climb over fences and gates, but cannot break them down. See also ''If a bailiff does gain peaceful entry to my house, what will they do?''
You do not have to let a bailiff into your house. A bailiff cannot force their way past you if you answer the door. If all your doors and windows are securely closed they will not be able to gain peaceful entry to your house unless you let them in.
Bailiffs are well aware of their limited powers and may use a variety of different means to gain entry peaceably. They may attempt to walk in as soon as a door is opened. They may ask if they can use your telephone to check if an arrangement is satisfactory with their office. They may simply ask you if you would prefer to discuss matters inside. You do not have to go along with any of these methods.
Can I be arrested or imprisoned for not letting a bailiff into my house?
No. If a bailiff is accompanied by the police, they are only there to prevent a breach of the peace. You cannot be arrested for refusing to allow a bailiff into your home.
You cannot be imprisoned for not paying your debts. However, non-payment of council tax, child maintenance or magistrates court fines can lead to imprisonment if you 'wilfully refuse' to pay. This means that the magistrates must be satisfied that you have the money but choose not to pay. You should be required to attend a magistrates court means enquiry hearing before this is decided. This gives you the chance to explain why you have not paid.
If a bailiff does gain peaceful entry to my house what will they do?
Once gaining entry to your home, a bailiff will usually try to find and seize any goods of value belonging to the person who owes the debt or who is named on the warrant.
Once in the house the bailiff has the right to go into all rooms and can break open any locked door or cupboard inside your house. If the bailiff gains peaceful entry s/he has the right to call again and enter even without your permission, i.e. s/he can break in and remove your goods.
Any attempt to remove a bailiff from your property once they have gained peaceful entry is assault and you could be taken to court for it.
Once in the house, a bailiff will attempt to seize your goods in order to sell them off at public auction to raise money to pay the debt that you owe. The bailiff will make clear an intention to seize various items, either verbally, or by attaching a mark to them, or by touching them. This is sometimes called levying distress or distraining upon goods.
Once the bailiff has seized goods, they have a number of options. They can either remove items they have seized immediately from the property to be stored and eventually sold at public auction. Alternatively, they can leave someone on the premises to guard the items that have been seized or, in the case of bailiffs collecting rent, secure items that have been seized in your home. These last two options are very rarely used.
The most likely outcome is that the bailiff will ask you to sign a 'walking possession agreement'.
What is a walking possession agreement?
A walking possession agreement means that the goods that have been seized now legally belong to the bailiff and can be removed at any time. However, s/he will allow them to remain in your home and you can continue to use them providing you keep your side of the agreement, e.g. you make agreed payments.
In order for a walking possession order to be valid, a bailiff should have gained peaceful entry to the property and seized the goods. It is not enough for a bailiff to list items that they have seen through a window and push a walking possession order through the letterbox for you to sign and return. You should never sign a walking possession order in these circumstances. There is a daily charge for a walking possession order that you must pay, on top of the original debt you owe if they are sold. Remember that goods will be sold at public auction and typically will sell for about 10% of their original value. This means that if you owe £50, a bailiff will probably try to seize goods to the value of at least £500.
A bailiff must only seize goods that belong to the person who owes the money, although any goods in the house can be seized for distress or rent. In practice, many bailiffs will attempt to seize any goods of value at a house they visit - it will be up to the individual to prove ownership afterwards. If you have receipts showing someone else bought the goods then you should show the bailiff these.
Are there any goods that the bailiff cannot seize?
Bailiffs (except bailiffs acting on behalf of the magistrate's court - see below) cannot seize the following goods:
tools, goods, vehicles and other items of equipment necessary for use by you in your employment, business or vocation;clothing, bedding, furniture, household equipment and provisions as are necessary for satisfying the basic domestic needs of you and your familyBailiffs acting on behalf of the magistrates' court cannot seize the following goods:
clothing, beds and bedding tools of the tradebasic domestic needs of the family would normally include fridge, cookers, freezers, but may not include video recorders, second TV's, jewellery, washing machines, stereos or microwave cookers.Can I hide goods?
It is not unlawful for you to remove goods from your house or hide them before a bailiff visits unless the bailiff is distraining for rent. Remember that a bailiff, having gained peaceful entry, can return at any time and if s/he believes that goods have been removed or hidden prior to their visit, this is likely to happen. For what to do if a bailiff visit is imminent - see below.
What if the bailiff does seize goods that do not belong to me?
If a bailiff seizes goods that are subject to a Hire Purchase agreement, seek advice urgently. Goods on HP do not belong to you until you make the final payment, but there may be circumstances in which they can be seized.
If goods have been seized wrongfully, then the owner of the goods can apply for them to be returned. You will need to get further advice about this.
Will I get advance notice of a bailiff visit and fees?
From 1 April 1998, local authorities must send you a letter giving 14 days notice of a proposed bailiff visit to collect council tax. County court bailiffs must issue a warning notice allowing 7 days for you to pay.
Do I have to pay the bailiff's fees?
The fees that bailiffs can charge for recovering money vary. There are fixed fees for bailiffs collecting council tax; for example, from 1 April 1998 fees for the first visit by a bailiff are £20 and £15 for a second visit, where no levy or seizure is made.
All bailiff fees (with the exception of magistrates' court bailiffs) can be looked at by the county court to see if they are reasonable or excessive. This is known as 'detailed assessment'. If you think that the bailiff's fees are excessive you should get further advice about this.
What should I do if a bailiff is about to visit my home?
Remember you do not have to let a bailiff into your house or flat. If you make sure that all doors and windows are locked, the bailiff will not be able to gain access to your home. If they cannot get in, they cannot lawfully seize goods. A bailiff may call a number of times to try and gain entry. Eventually they will return the warrant to the court or local authority if they are unable to gain entry, or you do not have enough goods to pay off the debt and fees.
Secondly, get the matter out of the hands of the bailiff and back to the county court, local authority or creditor. The next paragraph tells you how to do this.
If the debt is an unpaid county court judgment you can apply to the court to stop (''suspend'') the warrant and vary the instalments you were ordered to pay by the court. You can apply to do this on form N245, available from the court. The form asks for details of your income and outgoings with a few personal details such as whether you work. You will have to pay a fee at the court (currently £30), unless you are getting income support, income-based jobseeker's allowance or tax credits*. You may have to show proof that you are receiving these benefits.
(*You must have a gross annual income of £14213 or less and receive both working tax credit AND child tax credit, or working tax credit with a 'disability element' or a 'severe disability element'. Your tax credit award notice will contain this information)
The fee can also be waived if you are on a low income and payment of the fee would involve undue financial hardship. Applications for a fee reduction or waiver are dealt with entirely on an individual basis according to circumstance and there are no precise guidelines about when a fee should or should not be reduced or waived. In either case you must complete Form Ex160 and send or take it to the court with the N245.
Some county courts may refuse to suspend a warrant of execution until a walking possession agreement has been signed. This goes against guidance issued by the Lord Chancellors Department and if it happens to you seek further advice.
If bailiffs are collecting unpaid council tax it is often difficult to negotiate instalment payments with the bailiff or the local authority until the warrant is returned or withdrawn from the bailiff. However, you should try to negotiate instalment payments with the local authority and encourage them to withdraw the warrant from the bailiff. It is important to make clear that although you are unwilling to let the bailiff in, you are willing to make instalment payments at a rate that you can afford.
If you need help filling in forms or negotiating with creditors or bailiffs, see the 'further help' section below.
National Standards for Enforcement Agents
A review of bailiff law resulted in a Green Paper in July 2001, Towards Effective Enforcement'. A White Paper and legislation have however not followed, and expectations are now that the may not do so for some time.
The national standard (NSEA) has however been put in to place, taking up some points from the review of bailiff law.
The NSEA is endorsed by a range of central and local government departments and the bailiffs' trade bodies, all of whose members should comply with it.
Enforcement agents should:
Carry out their duties in a professional, calm and dignified manner. This includes dressing appropriately and acting with discretion and fairness.They must not misrepresent their powers or abilities, or discriminate on grounds of gender, sexual orientation, age, ethnicity, race or religionProduce identification and authorisation on requestCommunicate clearly and provide information (on charges etc) promptlyHave arrangements for translation services and provision of information in large print, Braille etcProvide procedures for identifying and dealing fairly with vulnerable debtors such as people who are elderly, disabled, those who have been bereaved recently, lone parents, pregnant women, unemployed people, people with language difficulties.
The conduct of levies
'Unlawful force' should not be used to enter any premisesIf the Police are called to deal with a breach of the peace, their presence must be explained including that they are not there to help with the levyIf the only person present is or appears to be under 18, the agent must depart, but may ask when the debtor will be home. If the only persons at home are children under the age of 12, the agent must simply leave.Bailiffs should avoid, so far as is practicable, disclosing the purpose of their visit to anyone who is not the debtor. Relevant documents should be left in a sealed envelope addressed to her/himVisits should ideally only be made between 6am and 9pm (or any time that the debtor is conducting business). Visits should not take place on Sundays, Bank Holidays, Good Friday or Christmas Day, unless legislation or a Court permits this. Respect for other religions and cultures should be upheld, and visits avoided on appropriate festivals and holidays.Goods that are clearly those of a child should not be seizedBailiffs should take all reasonable steps to satisfy themselves that the value of goods seized is proportional to the debt and charges owingWhen goods are removed, receipts should be given to the debtorDebtors must be notified of fees on each visit and of the fees that will be incurred if further action takes placeCopies of the NSEA should be available from the offices of the agencies, from the agents on request and if possible from the creditors themselvesThere are no sanctions for non-compliance with NSEA but agents are required to operate complaints and disciplinary procedures.Further details www.lcd.gov.uk/enforcement/agents02.htm
How can I complain about a bailiff?
Depending on the type of complaint you want to make, you can complain to the person who instructed the bailiff, for example a local authority, the county court (if the bailiff is certificated or a county court bailiff) or a trade association. See below for how to get help making a complaint.
Most private bailiffs will also belong to a trade association, all of whom have complaints and grievance procedures you can use. The main trade associations are the Certificated Bailiffs Association (CBA) and the Association of Civil Enforcement Agencies (ACEA).
../subtopics/council_tax.htm
Council Tax What happens if the bailiffs have been instructed? Under Council Tax legislation, the bailiff collecting Council tax arrears must, by law, be a Certificated Bailiff if he levies on goods. This means that he if he gains entry into your home, and lists items on a Walking Possession Form, he must, by law, be Certificated. This would apply also where he listed a vehicle etc that was outside the house. However if you pay the bailiff the outstanding amount due, together with his fees, without a Walking Possession being signed he does not need to be certificated. In these circumstances, the bailiff can only charge a “fee for a visit where no levy takes place”.
It is important to be aware that there are certain procedures that the Certificated Bailiff must follow when he visits your home or business. They must have with them:
Proof that the bailiff is a “Certificated Bailiff”. You must ask to see his Certificate…not his ID card!! (See: Facts about Bailiffs section). Written authorization from the Local Authority. A breakdown of the charges the bailiff is allowed to make for each visit.
If you are unable to pay, you may well be able to enter into acceptable payment arrangements with the bailiff….however, it is important to note that bailiffs do not have to accept any offer. This is because they are acting on an Order from the Court, and in this, their role is to seize goods under the order.
In our experience however, nearly always, the bailiff will only agree repayment proposals if he first can get you to sign a Walking Possession. You need to be very careful indeed about signing this and we would advise you to read our separate section entitled Walking Possession.
Please also note that from any sums paid to the bailiff….he can firstly deduct his fees before paying monies over to the local authority.
It is vitally important to ensure that you do not allow the bailiff if possible to gain entry into your property, as by doing so, the bailiff will then levy on your goods, and if a suitable payment plan cannot be agreed, the bailiff is legally allowed to remove those goods that he has levied upon immediately. The bailiff can only gain entry into your home by what is called “peaceful entry”, normally by being invited in.
Due to the many problems with Walking Possessions, we have dedicated an entire section to this which can be accessed from our front page.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: When a Liability Order has been granted, you will not be sent a copy by the Magistrates Court. With both a summons and court costs having been applied, many people are unaware of the true amount on the Liability Order. Because of this confusion, we are finding many of the less reputable companies are applying extra charges to your account as soon as they have received the instruction from the council....and before any visits have ever been made. This is now very much "industry practice!!!
The extra charges vary between an "apparent" first visit of £24.50, two "apparent" visits of £42.50 through to "apparent" van fees up to £200. We therefore advise that you receive confirmation ....not from the bailiff company....but from the council.... of the actual amount of the Liability Order.
../Topics/debts.htm
Debt Advice Objective advice about Debt. There are few more frightening things in life than debts that are out of control, and fewer still that leave you feeling so hopeless.
Here are a few bits of independent advice about debts. The first sounds obvious, "You Are Expected to Pay". On the face of it, it sounds obvious, but it has implications for you and to whom you owe the money.
Often the letters, threats and court actions are based on a desire to gain payment and will keep coming and get more insistent if you ignore them.
If you have lost control, or lost your job, the first thing to do is talk to the people who have given you the loan, or credit. If they know your situation at the earliest chance, you should find they are more prepared to come to a new agreement, rather than later when courts or collection agents are involved.
It is this expectation of payment that gives both sides the willingness to agree. If you choose to let it go, all the people at the other end know is what they see, and that is your lack of continuation to uphold your part of the agreement. They will not know why and are unlikely to be sympathetic towards you when they find out at the last minute.
Even the most forceful collector for a lender has only one goal and that is to get what is owed. As such they are motivated by this goal, if you can help them understand that you are not going to default on the agreements then there is a way forward. Often the first course of action may seem a harsh one for them to take. The companies often stop giving more credit until the current situation has been resolved. It can bite hard to suddenly loose what appears to be a lifeline, but it does not make the situation worse. Invariably that simple thing can save you a lot of grief, losing the use of a credit card, while hard to compensate for, will in the long term reduce the amount of crisis and trouble you may face and bring the whole situation under control more quickly. It will force change in your spending habits and may prove a hardship at the onset, but I have seen firsthand what happens to people who try and cover one debt by taking out loans from other agencies or lenders. The end results are far worse and more costly than the initial debt ever was.
Councils and the Tax bodies of this country are no different; they need to collect what is due but are willing to help when and where they are allowed by the laws that govern them.
Remember that there are laws that govern the actions of those you owe as much as they govern you. Get as much information as you can from the people you owe, read you agreements and contracts and find any information you can about benefits and aid that the local or national government can offer you in your circumstances. The second piece of advice is to seek help from professionals. There are government agencies and other bodies who give good, honest and workable solutions to debt management and are there to help. They have no axe to grind and are not biased towards you or your lenders. They will speak plainly, and often this may come as a surprise or even sound harsh, but remember it does help in the long run. Also remember that the solution one person suggests is not always the only solution to your situation. Ask around, find other people who have been helped or who offer advice. The more you know the better your chances of finding the solution that is right for you.
The last piece of advice is to learn how to budget. It sounds condescending but is not meant to be. Even if the situation was out of your control or forced on you by the loss of your job through redundancy learning how to budget will help, not just now, but in the future as well.
It is often the case that we overlook what we spend on, simply because it is habit. We always by brand X washing powder for example. Or always go to the same place for lunch every day.
When I talk about budgeting I do not just mean the large scale items forced on us by the rising cost of a mortgage or fuel prices, but the overlooked and forgotten items that make up more of our outgoings than you might expect. A friend of mine challenged me on this one time, so I sat with him and we looked at what he earned and what he spent. It took us about an hour to find that his outgoings on mortgage, gas, electricity, food and clothing etc. accounted for about 55% of his annual income. What he did not realise was that the majority of the balance he spent on things he did not notice he wanted or needed. He bought magazines and snacks and gadgets almost without noticing, and never really put them to use. The snacks were a spur of the moment thing, often brought home and left in a cupboard for later, often until they went out of date. The magazines piled up in a corner and were no more than glanced through and the gadgets, while used a few times when new, often did not get used at all after that, yet he still bought others that did nearly the same things over and over again.
Budgeting is not about doing away with things that you need but focusing on the things you really don’t need. I do not mean that you should not go out and enjoy yourself or do something you find real pleasure in but see the places where you are spending your money and make choices that are right for you.
Often the exercise in listing where the money goes is enough and other times it gives you a chance to decide what to do and when. It can be hard to do, and can sometimes lead to disagreement or accusations. Try and avoid this as best you can as it is not a blame exercise but IS more the foundation of your way out of the situation in which you find yourself. It provides you with accurate information and enables you to see what you can afford to pay and to whom. This then provides the basis of settlements, or agreements with those that you owe.
../subtopics/feeling_low.htm
Feeling Low? Depression and feeling low
Have you ever felt so alone. Ever thought your friends do not want to see you. Are you tired and cannot get interested in anything? You are not alone. Today's life style does seem to increase the likelihood of these feelings and does little to reduce its effects.
Depression is a very common problem and with a better understanding more and more people are getting the help they need. This sounds nice but there are steps you can take for yourself without the need to seek outside help. You can change how you feel about yourself to a more positive mood. They are easy and will be of benefit regardless of your situation. Even if you are just feeling a bit low one day for no obvious reason.
Sometimes we forget to look at the positives. For example if a task at work has been very trying and you think you may have failed. Stop and think about what you have achieved.
You may find you have done more than you imagine. It is easy to forget how much you have learned just by attempting the task. You may fail to see how near you are to completion, or just how much less others may have done in the same timeframe.
In a depressed state we often take things personally. It is easy to blame the failure on yourself. It may be that there were elements that were beyond your capabilities at the outset, but now through the attempt and the learning you have achieved while undertaking the task are now no longer beyond you.
So with these things in mind what can you do to help yourself. It may sound obvious but you need to take positive steps. Give yourself a chance to change your mood.
List things to do. Make a daily plan. It is often hard to decide what to do each day and you can end up doing very little. Make a list of things you want to do. Then turn that into an action list. Start off with the easiest task at first and do not aim too high. Work through the list and at the end of the day you can look back and see what you really have achieved.
Physical exercise and activity can really help lift your spirits. Try and build a little into every day. It does not have to be dramatic. A simple walk to get the morning papers can do wonders. Instead of taking the car, walk to a shop you do not use regularly. Say ten minutes away so that you end up with a twenty minute walk for example.
Mixing with friends, family and neighbours can also help. Being around others has always been a great feeling. It allows their fun and good mood to wrap around you. There is nothing better. If you combine this with something you enjoy doing, all the better. Remember it is always nice to treat yourself, even if it is only once in a while.
When you combine all these things into your plan you end up with a week or months worth of things to do. Just writing the list can be a rewarding experience. Even better as you tick each one off again.
Ok its not just that simple, but it can give you a start. If you are having more difficulty than these steps can resolve, talk to your doctor. They have probably dealt with this almost every day of their working life since they qualified. There is probably no reason for depression that they have not heard before, so don't be embarrassed you will not be the first or even the last to seek help on this issue.
../subtopics/IBS.htm
IBS What is it? Are you suffering from IBS?
Are you suffering from:-Recurrent Abdominal Pain, Intermittant Diarrhoea, Constipation, Bloating, Gas/Wind, Fatigue, Cramps, Food Cravings, Poor Concentration, or Tiredness after Eating
These all seem to be the standard symptoms associated with IBS but for a full diagnosis of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) to be made you should have suffered abdominal discomfort or pain, for which no other cause is found, for at least 3 months in the last 12 months. The 3 months need not be continuous but may be a total. The person should also show at least two of the following three features:
Pain is relieved by defecation (opening the bowels) and pain is associated with a change in the frequency of bowel movement, either an increase or a decrease. There is a change in the form of the stool - it is watery, loose or pellet-like. Now Ask Yourself This:
1) Do you have chronic digestive problems - bloating, gas, constipation or diarrhoea?
2) Do you crave sweets, bread, alcohol?
3) Have you ever taken antibiotics or steroid drugs for an extended period of time?
4) Do you have unexplained aches, pains and headaches?
5) Do you have (chronic) fatigue, brain fog, floaters in the eyes, poor memory?
6) Do you feel depressed or ill but have no reason to?
Self Diagnosis: One or more answers "Yes" to the above questions gives a strong indication that you may have - parasites, candida yeast or an imbalance of intestinal flora between bad bacteria versus healthy bacteria.
If you have got this far and still think I may have this problem, seek the advice of a doctor and have it confirmed. Though you may feel this is the answer, there could be other causes. Check it out, look to your Doctors first, if one person can claim to have found a cure that works, then the medical profession will have a better understanding of it, than us mere mortals.
../subtopics/redundancy.htm
Redundancy Redundancy Advice. What to do if you're facing redundancy I'm feeling down about being made redundant I feel upset at losing my jobWhat do I need to think about?What additional benefits might my employers offer me?How can I find out what I'm entitled to?What am I going to do next?I'd like to improve my skillsI need to update my CVHow can I find out what jobs are out there?What to do if you're facing redundancy
Being made redundant is something we hope will never happen. Unfortunately most of us will experience it at some time in our working lives.
It's a time of change and what was a big part of your life has now been taken away. It can be worrying if you're not sure what to do next or have financial concerns.
I'm feeling down about being made redundant? Many people are made redundant each year and no sector is safe from redundancy. Redundancy can be caused by falling profits, increased competition, takeovers, mergers, technological advances and even poor management.
try not take it personally - the job was made redundant, not youfocus on moving forwards rather than looking back.I feel upset at losing my job
It's natural to feel upset. If you need to talk about your feelings you can speak to a counsellor. Your employer may provide one or you could search the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s database.
What do I need to think about? Before you leave your employer: pick up your P45 get written details of your redundancy payment and package.Make a note of the contact details of:
your line managertrade union representativehuman resources departmentpension fund trustees.If your employer offered any benefits such as health insurance, take contact details of these too.
What additional benefits might my employers offer me?
Your employer might provide free careers guidance to help you decide on your next move. Some will offer money for training. Whatever they offer, make the most of it. If you're not offered careers guidance by your employer, call the Careers Advice Service on 08080 100 333 to speak to a career coach who will help you think about your options.
How can I find out what I'm entitled to?
Redundancy issues are complex so you should seek professional help. A professional adviser can explain your rights and look at your financial options. You can also get advice on negotiating with your employer.
You can get advice on redundancy from:
your trade unionprofessional bodiesyour local Citizens' Advice Bureauindependent financial advisorsemployment law experts.What am I going to do next?
Don't make a rushed decision - a quick fix might not be the best way forward. Weigh up all your options carefully - this way you'll make the best and most informed decision.
Even if you don't get a job straight away, use your time constructively. If you're not working you could do voluntary work to get experience in a new line of work. You could also do a course to learn new skills. And if you're not working full-time the fees might be reduced.
I'd like to improve my skills
Learning something new is always a good idea. If you're going for a complete career change you'll probably have to get new knowledge and skills to make the change. But even if you're trying to get into the same type of work as before, updating or broadening your skills is still a good idea, because it:
can add another string to your bowshows you can take care of your own learning and developmentproves you're a motivated, positive individual.Training courses are run at colleges, universities, private course providers, advice centres and adult education centres. If you're not working you may get help with the fees. If you can't commit to a regular timetable and want to work at your own pace, you could do a distance learning course.
I need to update my CV
Your CV tells employers about your skills and experience, so make sure it's up to date. Emphasise your abilities, responsibilities and achievements and make it relevant to each job you're applying for. If it's too long or not relevant to the job an employer may overlook it. It doesn't need to be a life history; it's designed to show you can do the job you're applying for.
How can I find out what jobs are out there?
You can find this out by keeping in touch with the local press, reading trade magazines and checking out the websites of Sector Skills Councils.
look in the papers for vacanciesuse the internetregister with employment agenciessend your CV out on speccold call to ask about vacanciescheck the vacancies in the Jobcentre.If you're cold calling or sending out your CV make sure you send it to the person in charge of hiring in the organisation; not the Human Resources Dept.
Networking is a good way of finding out about vacancies as the majority of jobs aren't advertised. Networking is about letting as many people as possible know that you're seeking work. This includes friends, family, ex-employers, future employers. The more people who know you're looking for work, the higher the chances will be that you'll hear of something.
Don't just target just one job or organisation. Apply for as many relevant jobs as you can, but don't apply for jobs you're not suited to or qualified for. It's better to spend time on applying for the jobs you've got a better chance of getting.
../Topics/work.htm
Work related Issues
Work Issues How many things can happen?
At this moment in time the biggest fear is loosing your job. The economy is having a few problems to put it mildly, but is being laid off the only worry about your days at work.
If not please contribute a new article that we can include here.
../subtopic/sleep.htm
Problems Sleeping?
Problems Sleeping?
"I toss and turn for hours on end. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to get off to sleep.."
"I'm very restless through the night, often waking and not able to get back to sleep.."
"I wake up two or three hours before I need to get up, and just lie there trying to drop back off to sleep.."
"I never feel like I've had a proper night's sleep. I sleep very lightly and seem to drift in and out of sleep".
These are all comments made by people who suffer from different kinds of sleep problem.
Sleep problems are very common and are often referred to as insomnia. A recent study found that as many as 30% of the adult population are affected by sleep problems. Sleep difficulties are particularly common in women, children and those over 65. In fact, roughly half of the elderly population complain of insomnia. Therefore to have trouble sleeping at some point is your life is quite normal.
How much sleep do we need?
People can become very distressed when they feel they are not getting a good night's sleep, which can make it harder to get off to sleep. But what is a normal amount of sleep? How much sleep do we need? The answer is that people vary greatly in their need for sleep. There is a popular idea that we all need 7 to 8 hours sleep every night. This is not true. Many studies have shown that people range between needing 4 hours a night up to needing 10 hours or more. Also the amount of sleep a person needs varies throughout their life. For example, a newborn baby spends 16- 17 hours sleeping per day (though it might not seem like that to parents). As children grow older they require less sleep, possibly 11 hours around the age of 5 years and maybe 8-9 hours as a teenager. By the time someone reaches their thirties they may require less than 8 hours, and as time progresses this becomes less and less. Many people in their seventies require less than 6 hours sleep. Not only does the need for sleep vary from person to person, and with age, it also varies depending on level of activity. If someone has retired from work, they may be less active and therefore require less sleep. On the other hand, if they have a young family and are constantly on the go, then they may require quite a bit of sleep. Recent studies have found that the patterns and type of sleep we have can effect all our life.
Are there different sorts of sleep?
Sleep is not like a light bulb which is either on or off, but has different stages, varying from light to deep sleep. At least five different types or stages of sleep have been identified. Broadly, sleep is divided into what is called REM (Rapid Eye Movement) and non-REM sleep. REM sleep occurs several times during the night and is where most dreaming is thought to take place. Non-REM sleep is divided into four stages, each stage being a bit deeper, almost like a staircase of sleep. During the night whilst asleep, people go up and down this staircase many times, and in fact wake up several times. On a typical night a young adult who sleeps well will spend about 5% in Stage 1, 50% in Stage 2, 28% in deep sleep (3 or 4) and about 25% in REM sleep. As with the amount of sleep we need, the sort of sleep we have changes as we get older. Sleep in older people tends to be lighter and more broken, with more stage 1 and 2 sleep and more frequent wakening. For a typical person aged 70, deep sleep takes up less than 10% of the night's sleep. Therefore, the older person reports waking more times throughout the night. In summary sleep in older people does tend to be shorter, more restless and more easily disturbed, but it should still be refreshing.
Until recently it was thought that we only had dreams when we were in REM sleep, but this is not the case. We also dream in non-REM sleep as well. These dreams are controlled by a part of the brain that controls the oldest and deepest emotions of man, such as fear and anger and it is often here, when we would normally be sleeping through these dreams or nightmares, that many people with sleep problems can wake. This waking is thought to detract from the normal activity of these dreams and can leave a person who is already having other issues in their life with more intense feelings. These non-REM dreams are an important balance in our life. They can function as a release and also may function as preparation for the surprises life can throw at us, in a way that is not directly life threatening. We can play out roles where our mind can rehearse fighting off an attack for example without the need to go and find an attacker to fight.
It is therefore thought that undue disturbance to this type of dream sleep will have an ongoing effect, and research is still being done into this issue.
Fear not though, as with most things when you see it on paper it sounds worse than it is. The suggestions further on will still help you get a good nights sleep regardless of when you dream or what you dream about. Just remember dreams are good for you and even if you do not remember them you still have them whenever you sleep.
What Causes Sleep Problems?
There are a number of reasons why sleep problems can develop.
1) Normal effects of ageing - when people get older they tend to sleep less deeply and need less sleep. Not only this, but people snooze during the day. While this in itself is not a problem, it can cause frustration and concern, which in turn leads to sleeping less well.
2) Medical reasons for disrupted sleep - medical reasons for poor sleep may or may not be related to getting older and usually pass as the condition is resolved by the treatment.
3) Stress, anxiety and worry - sleep is easily affected by how someone is feeling. If someone is worrying about something or suffering from stress, they may find it harder to get off to sleep.
4) Depression and low mood - when someone is feeling depressed, disturbed sleep is common. It is quite usual for a depressed person to wake up early in the morning and find it hard to get back to sleep, or alternatively to have difficulty getting off to sleep.
5) Surroundings - can make a big difference to sleep. For example, a bedroom that is over hot or over cold, a bed that is too hard or too soft, a room that is too noisy or too light can all make a difference to how well someone sleeps. Sleeping in a strange place can also affect someone's sleep.
6) Disrupted sleep routine - people who work shifts which change frequently often have difficulty sleeping.
So how do you overcome these problems!
One of the first steps in overcoming sleep difficulties is finding out any possible causes and trying to look for solutions. Is sleeping your main problem, or is there another problem which may be causing you to have difficulty sleeping? If there is another problem, is there anything you can do about that problem? Review these common reasons for insomnia and try to work out which if any apply. There many solutions for these different problems but here are our suggestions.
Problem:
Worrying about not getting enough sleep - are you expecting too much sleep and worrying about not getting enough? Sometimes people lie in bed and worry about not sleeping. As we have already mentioned, worrying about not getting enough sleep makes matters worse. Thoughts such as "I'll be exhausted tomorrow", "I'll never get to sleep", "I must sleep, it's ruining my health", may run through your mind. The effect of this is that you feel tense and anxious and less likely to drop off to sleep, which in turn leads to more worrying thoughts.
Solution:
Try to remind yourself that loss of sleep will not hurt you. No one ever died through lack of sleep! You know you will always fall asleep eventually. Lying calm and relaxed in bed can be as refreshing as sleep (and even more enjoyable because you're awake to experience it!). Don't keep looking to see what the time is. Try to put sleep out of your mind. Tell yourself you don't really care whether you get to sleep or not. Have a daydream instead about something pleasant (for example a holiday, what you'd do if you won some money). Sometimes people find it helpful to lie there and force themselves to stay awake. This may sound odd but often if someone tries to force their eyes open the urge to close them and to go to sleep becomes very strong. Relaxation may be helpful. There are many ways to relax, the trick is to find the one that suits you best. Start at your Doctors surgery. They often have handouts, tapes and other suggestions you may not realise they have to hand.
Problem:
Medical reasons - are there any of the reasons already mentioned that apply to you?
Solution:
Check whether you can receive help for that problem. There may be alternative forms of pain relief you could try for example.
Problem:
Loss and bereavement - have you experienced a loss or bereavement recently?
Solution:
It is very common to have disturbed sleep following a bereavement. Try not to add to your difficulties by worrying about not sleeping. Your sleep pattern should return to normal in time. Talking about your feelings may help, either to a friend or to your GP.
Problem:
Emotional state (for example, anxiety, depression, stress) . are you suffering from stress at the moment? Or are you depressed or anxious?
Solution:
Self help booklets are available for stress, depression and anxiety. It may be that you need your depression or anxiety treated. Counseling and other approaches are available, see our page on feeling low for more information.
Problem:
Worrying about other problems. Is your mind working overtime thinking about problems such as work, relationships, money worries?
Solution:
The following might help. Get out of bed and sit somewhere quiet and comfortable with a pen and paper.
Write down the problems you are thinking about. The act of writing in itself is therapeutic, but also helps focus the mind in a way that simply thinking up the list will not achieve. This can work for so many problems not just things that stop you sleeping as you want to.
Taking each problem, write down everything you can possibly think you might do to solve the problem.
Choose the most helpful solution and write down all the steps you are going to need to take to do it. Write as much as you can.
Write down any obstacles and how you might tackle them.
When you are finished say to yourself firmly .OK. That is it for now. I can't do any more about it at this time of night. I am not going to let myself worry about it till the morning..
Spend at least half an hour winding down, reading a paper or listening to some music. When you start to feel sleepy go back to bed.
If you still find yourself worrying, keep saying to yourself "I've dealt with my worry for now. Worrying about it now will not help. I'll deal with it tomorrow".
If you don't drop off to sleep within 15-30 minutes, don't stay in bed. Try not to time yourself, don't be too conscious of how long you have been back in bed.
You may find that getting help in another area has a knock-on effect on your sleeping. Your sleeping may well right itself if you can solve some other problem. Even so, you may have got into some 'bad habits' which are not helping you get off to sleep. Many people have bad sleep habits and may get away with it for most of their life. Having a cigarette last thing at night may not be a problem (although never to be recommended in bed and bad for your heath in other respects). Lying in bed reading for hours and drinking coffee may be fine for some people some of the time. However when a sleep problem starts, it is most helpful to try and get rid of any bad sleep habits we have built up over the years. The following simple checklist of good sleep habits may help.
Good sleep habits
Try not to worry about not getting enough sleep - it may be that you are getting enough, but it's just less than you expect. Don't take naps during the day to catch up, this will affect your natural rhythm and only add to your problem.
Remember - that our need for sleep is an individual thing and gets less as we get older. You may be trying to get too much. Try going to bed later or getting up earlier.
Surroundings - Go through this basic check list and see whether there are any simple changes you can make:
Noise (too noisy, too quiet?)
Light (too light, too dark?)
Comfort of mattress (too hard, too soft?)
Temperature of room (too hot, too cold?)
Is your partner (or lack of one ) keeping you awake? Sleeping with someone who is snoring may be adding to your own sleep problem. There are separate ways to deal with snoring. Snoring in itself can affect your own nights sleep, even if you are the one snoring. There have been a lot of adverts lately for snoring aids. If anyone has an opinion, please let us know.
Food and Drink - anything that contains caffeine taken near to bedtime, will reduce the quality of sleep. Examples include coffee, tea, hot chocolate and cola. It is best not to have any of these things within four hours of bedtime. If you are having a bedtime drink try to make sure it is decaffeinated.
Cigarettes - smoking last thing at night can keep you awake as nicotine is a stimulant. If you do smoke, try to have your last cigarette at least four hours before bedtime. Nicorette patches or chewing gum could also affect sleep.
Medicines and other drugs - Some drugs can affect sleep because they are stimulants. If you are taking medicine it is worth checking with your pharmacist or doctor. Examples are certain drugs for asthma and for migraine. Sleeping tablets, whilst they can help in the short term often cause sleep problems as they interfere with the quality of sleep and can alter sleep patterns. They should only be taken for very short periods.
Alcohol - whilst people often feel sleepy after drinking a lot of alcohol, again the quality of sleep is affected. It is best to avoid drinking large amounts of alcohol close to bedtime if you are having sleep problems.
Consistency - try to get a consistent timetable so that your body knows where it is. Going to bed and getting up at roughly the same time is much better during insomnia than trying to catch up on lost sleep or going to bed early or napping at odd times during the day. If you feel the need to sleep in at weekends try to make it not more than an hour later than usual. Or do it as a self treat once in a while, like once a month for example.
Pre-sleep routine - try to use the hour before going to bed to unwind and prepare for sleep. In the same way that you would not expect a child to go straight from an exciting game to bed, most adults need to wind down. For a child, a bedtime routine helps with the winding down process, for example, bath time, pyjamas, teeth brushed, story, then bed. The same is true for adults. Try to get into a pattern.
This may seem obvious but do not go to bed until you feel sleepy.
Gradually increase your daytime activity and exercise, but don't exercise too near to bedtime.
If you have not fallen asleep within 30 minutes - get up and have a hot malty drink like Horlicks. Listen to relaxing music, read a relaxing book or watch something boring on TV until you feel sleepy.
Make sure your bed is associated with sleep. For example, don't watch TV, eat, or talk on the telephone in bed. The only exception to this is making love which can in fact help (and certainly seems to induce sleep in men!)
These simple guidelines really can improve your sleep but they take time. Please be patient, your hard work will pay off although it can take many weeks to develop new sleep habits.